Straighten up little soldier!

[Shambo]

EPISODE II

[/b]
"Congrats on making both tribes Rob!"[/font][/color]

[/center]

Well, we obviously lost the challenge. Mostly because my tribe is full of incredibly stupid people. But regardless of the reason why the most important part is that we lost and now I have to deal with a bunch of people who I don't like and see if they are going to vote me out. Honestly I doubt it, I might have rubbed them all sorts of wrong last night but at least I knew the challenge and I showed my competitive spirit which is huge in Survivor.

Now I have to be social with this bunch of misfits and see what the vote is, I am not excited at all because trying to talk to them is like talking to a puppy. You know he is hearing you but you can't tell if he is understanding or what he is saying back.

Last night we had a challenge, at the beggining I was leading the group and we were doing fine, it was very rewarding to me to be put in a position of power where I got to bark orders at everyone else. It reminded me of when I was a marine in the service. The tribe was doing amazing, until Servant decided to start yapping with her ideas that made absolutely no sense and distracted the rest of the troop from the task. I blame her for our eventual defeat, it was hard to come back from her yapping and running her mouth. If it was up to me she would be going home, but this is a team game and so I have to talk to my team, because I am a team player.

Ashley and Courtney are those girls in High School who are always so snotty and they feel they are better than everyone else. And I want to vote them out so bad, but yet the tribe seems to be leading to vote out Jimmy to keep Princess and Servant happy, it's so unfair that the old-timer is getting voted out over people who have no clear use to us and who do nothing but complain!

I guess the vote now is for Jimmy. Sadly so. I mean yeah Jimmy sucks but Courtney and Ashley are two of the most annoying people EVER. I think my one-sided hatred though is gonna change to Courtney because in all honesty she is far more irritating than Ashley, plus she is ruining a good character. But I kind of hate both, so I can just spread the hate. I am considering voting for one of them just for lulz. But I'm not sure if I want to separate myself from the tribe like that especially when I have no common ground with them and no BFF's, I do think it would look lulz on the voting chart and will be an awesome story-arch if I voted the same person until they got voted out. So, I have some thinking to do.

Other than that I guess I am considering aligning with Philip because he is the lesser of eight evils. And he helped me with the idol clues, kind of, more like he gave me one as did Bob Dawg. I wonder if he shared it with everyone or just me. He said he wanted the idol to be for "our tribe" but I hate the tribe so if I get the idol it's a Shambo idol and that's that.

Idol searching is HARD. I am very happy tho that the clues are hard and it's a challenge to find the idol, that makes it so much more impressive when someone has one and it makes it fun. I love mind puzzles and riddles even though I'm horrible at them. I am enjoying looking for the idol and comming up with a million theories on the clues. It's kinda what is keeping me from using the fishing spear to gut my tribe-mates while they eat.

The fact idol clues designed to make me go insane are what is keeping me sane is just mind-blowing.

[Host Lex]

Driving people insane is our specialty!

Would you consider Phillip to be your most solid ally on the tribe right now?

[Shambo]

Not really, we never said the A word so technically we are not aligned, so when I jump ship to the ~cool~ tribe I would not look like the biggest bitch ever. All we did was say that we were going to watch each others back and that was that, and even that was kind of a half-ass promise by me because I still get really irritated with Philip, he is just not as bad as everyone else.

WHICH brings me to my next point of absolute celebration. I am the creator of Episode title two, which means I can now die happy [not really]. I'm supah pumped tho!

[Shambo]

EPISODE III

[/b]
"He better show us some of that "boss" he was braggin about!"[/font][/color]

[/center]

Episode title is a Philip quote, again, as he talks about Rory and his comments at Treemail.

Last night Jimmy went home, it was such a shame to send such a brave man home first, but he was weakening the tribe and at this point it's important to keep the tribe strong. I wish we could have kept him because in all honesty he was far more helpful than Princess and Servant. Those two are vile human beings who made fun of the poor man as he was leaving Tribal Council, I don't know what their mother's taught them but I was shown respect and I will not allow those two to continue their tyranic tirades all over camp, I will not allow it!

When we came back to camp I was concerned because I noticed that the white people were not only out-numbered but the fact of the matter was the only two people who were non Slave were myself and the two girls who I hated. So I decided to put all prejudices aside and bond a lot more with the non-white's. Turns out they are very hard working people who really want to win the game, which is something they have in common with me. I'm a warrior, when I was a Corporal I was known for being fierce in battle and never giving up. Marine never give up. Know that.

Okay so Jimmy went home, who cares? I was just mad I didn't vote for Courtney and someone else did, starting next round I am voting for her ass every round until she goes home. Unless my name comes up, then I will obviously be forced to break the pattern [which will look amazing on the voting chart] and vote with majority to keep my ass safe.

By the way, that challenge was evil like the whole list thing, it was ridic. I obviously lied a little because I couldn't show my eternal hatred for Courtney and Ashley but whatever.

Anyways, everyone ranked good ol' Shamy on the top three more reliable people. Which obviously means that they all kind of see me as a good asset to the tribe, which is great especially considering how flawed my social game is since I hate them. Oh, except Rory. I guess his borderline retarded ass doesn't realize what is going on and still thinks I'm the worst because I was picked last. He needs to open his eyes and take a look at himself, because people are already looking at him as the next target. So, who's fucked now?
.

[Shambo]

Dear Philip:

Why are you going psycho over a challenge time when it doesn't even matter? You are suposed to be the one I like on this tribe full of psychos. Please get your act together before I hate you again.

Love Cheers,
Shambo.

[Shambo]

EPISODE III

[/b]
"He better show us some of that "boss" he was braggin about!"[/font][/color]

[/center]

We lost another challenge, who is surprised? Not me. Like I have been preaching for three episodes straight this tribe is absolutely horrendous.

Anyways as soon as we lose Ashley comes up to be and the broad has the audacity to say this tribe is super weak. Like, you didn't check for the majority of the challenge and basically dragged us down, why are you complaining? Like she seriosly has no ground, it amuses me how self-entitled this people are. Like don't you realize you suck?

Not only did Trashley bash the tribe's ability to win and strength but Bob's decisions for picking people. And I mean not that I care for the tribe or Bob's decisions but being the complainer is my job and the bitch is trying to take over.

And then, this happens:
Ashley U: sad about our lost
Ashley U: but it wasnt a shock
Shambo: i was very disapoiinted, cause it was an easy challenge to win
Ashley U: idk why bob picked some certain people
Ashley U: you know
Ashley U: he had a chance to pick someone strong for his first pick
Shambo: what do you mean?
Ashley U: like you know how he picked the idol first
Ashley U: then the other guy got first pick
Ashley U: then bob could of picked someone whos more online but picked phillip
Ashley U: you get me?
Shambo: I think Philip is online plenty enough, personally
Ashley U: well im saying compared to the other people on that tribe
Ashley U: theres a reason why they are kicking our ass
Ashley U: i mean you were his last pick and you have done a lot
Shambo: right, thats true, but I think Philip was a solid first choice, he has been great every single challenge
Ashley U: over jason though?
Ashley U: to me i see jason one of the strongest guys here
Ashley U: i think he is leading the other tribe
Ashley U: idk i just feel like bob wasnt thinking smart when he picked tribes
Ashley U: like i feel like he just let edgardo get the good people
Ashley U: or the people he good work with better
Ashley U: idk maybe bob went crazy for the idol clue and wasnt thinking straight
Shambo: I honestly don't see it, like our team might not be the strongest but I feel it's because some people are dragging us down

Of course me being all pro-team is absolutely vomit-worthy and beyond double-faced but I can use the conversation against her later so I have to behave. Plus the bitch bashed the one person that doesn't drive me absolutely crazy. It was clear she was trying to target Philip and honestly I wanted to tell her she was the weaker link but as the conversation moved forward I decided to turn the script on the bigger annoyance: Courtney.

After a huge pause when I bashed her Ashley said she agreed, I think she feels endangered because she was really fast to try and organize it all. Whatever, Courtney might go home this round which makes me happy and then next round I plan to vote out Trashley with the information I got from that conversation.

We continue to loose challenges and once again it's fault of Princess and Servant but I believe the tribe finally realizes that they are liabilities and we are going to let one of them go. It is long over-due but personally I am very relieved that it's going to happen. It's time to shape this tribe up into a well organized pontoon of soldiers that can go out and win the battle against the green tribe.

Also, today after the challenge Princess approached me and started talking about how she wanted to vote out Philip, my closest friend here, we both talk about birds and our psychic dreams so my jaw dropped as soon as the words left her mouth. She must have not realized because she went ahead and as the demon child she is completely bashed him and then called me a filthy whore and spit on my face. I don't know what her problem is because I have NEVER done anything to that woman. NEVER. I can't believe she would be so vile, it just goes to show that she is the Devil's Spawn and keeping her around is detrimental not only to the tribe but to the game and the world in general.

Anyways I'm campaigning to take out Courtney and hopefuly my lame tribe recognized that she needs to get the fuck out of this tribe and maybe just maybe she will cry and I will laugh on her face, which would be even more rewarding. I just hope she gets upset and doesn't see it comming, blindsiding her ass is the least she deserves for wasting a great character <3.

[Shambo]

EPISODE III

[/b]
"He better show us some of that "boss" he was braggin about!"[/font][/color]

[/center]

Okay so I'm super super mad because apparently people think I'm in some kind of alliance with Trashley. I mean seriously? With fucking Trashley?! You couldn't even choose someone who would be slightly smart, you chose Trashley? I mean come the fuck on people!

Do I look like a retard? Like why would I align myself with someone who is mentally handicapped? I am not that much an idiot, like seriously people you need to realize I would never align with someone who I hate more than the rest of you [besides Courtney]. Bunch of retards, seriously.

I almost want to make a post at TC and say I am not with Trashley because I hate her. But I can't because I got the most vanilla question ever and I can't even get real with it.

I'm skipping the Shambo POV right now because I don't have much time since I have to clean and shit. But anyways, I am not sure where this rumors came from but Philip is gonna help me smash them. This is the point where I say Philip is not bad and he is someone I actually like. So I guess I don't hate EVERYONE in the tribe, at least not right this second.

I just hope Courtney goes home, especially since it just came to light that her and Sherea are like BFF's, we need to separate that duo. I feel like those two retards are aligned to Bob, who has the personality of a rock, so that makes it even more dangerous.

I can't believe I'm about to campaign for Trashley to stay. I hate myself already...

[Shambo]

OMG so apparently Rory ALSO thinks that I'm shady and something is going on. When I swap on them to the other tribe they better not act surprised at all. Now I have no intentions on sticking with them, because non of them even trusts me or anything, so fuck them. HARD. In the ass, with a spork.

Also, he believes Cuntney has the idol. Um, don't they realize they are talking about the girl who was a failed abortion? No way that bitch can have the idol. Like at all.

Finally, apparently them people want the "white bitches" out. I knew I should have changed to being ghetto-fab while I had the chance. Now I might be at a disadvantage, then again if there's a swap or merge I can easily say they had their Hood-rats alliance and be supah safe <3

[Shambo]

Dear Bob:

Thanks for being the most transparent player ever, also thanks for not realizing this is a social game and still signing up to suck at life. I also appologize for thinking you were cooler than the others before, it is clear to me that you are a horrible player. Next time you do something at least have an excuse as to why you do stuff. You are a poor excuse of a player and I really hope you choke on a big fat dick.

Love,
Shambo.

***

Okay, so I'm supah bored so I decided that even though I knew about the vote to expand on my outsider story-arc I was going to comfront Bob about the whole leaving me in the dark with the vote. Honestly, it could very well affect me but with Philip now being part of the Hood-Rats, he has my back and if need be I can pull something, like-wise Shambo was my character to be a complete train-wreck and this helps me and gives me more motives to turn on this assholes <3

So prepare for drama central, I know you've been waiting for it.

Oh! And wait for a conversation with Bob. You might find it amusing. I'm such a cunt

[Host Brett]

Looool

I cannot wait

[Shambo]

Shambo: why did you guys lie to me about the vote?
Bob Dawg: Sherea got paranoid
Bob Dawg: about an idol
Bob Dawg: cuz Ashley and Courtney were friends
Shambo: what does that have to do with me?
Bob Dawg: so it didn't make sense for Ashley to vote hr out
Shambo: I'm Shambo, not Ashley, what does that have to do with not teling me who the vote was for?
Shambo: like I really don't understand what the point of keeping me in the dark was and I'd appreciate an explanation cause I've been up front with you all along
Shambo: so, then...?
Bob Dawg: sorry
Bob Dawg: just paranoid
Shambo: paranoid about what?
Bob Dawg: being idoled out
Shambo: what does that have to do with me?!
Shambo: you said you were voting Courtney and then voted Ashley, when I told you I could vote for either cause I dislike both
Shambo: I don't see how being idoled plays into not telling me the vote changed
Bob Dawg: sorry
Shambo: thats still not an explanation, I just want to know the reason why I wasn't told about the vote
Bob Dawg: less people that knew the more safe i was
Shambo: OH! like everyone else but me
Shambo: because as far as I could see everyone but me voted the right way
Shambo: silly me
Bob Dawg: some people on this tribe
Bob Dawg: don't trust you
Bob Dawg: and didn't want you to know
Shambo: some people, who?
Shambo: I have been very forward with you, bro
Bob Dawg: its not me
Shambo: you didn't tell me tho, when I trusted you
Bob Dawg: sorry
Shambo: no, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was so low on your totem pole
Bob Dawg: your not
Bob Dawg: i just dont want to get on people's bad sides
Shambo: apparently I am Bob because you competely threw away my trust and kept me in the dark, when I had you in such high regard
Bob Dawg (minivan23456) is offline
IMs are delivered when the buddy signs in. Send Bob Dawg (minivan23456) a text message

I think I came across as an uber bitch but that's important, it is clear in that conversation that he had no motives or he didn't want to tell me that he thought I was aligned with Trashley, which means he doesn't even know how to play Survivor. He is horrible at the whole building bridges and clearly on the face of conflict [me] he appologizes and scurries into a corner [aka go offline] which means he is someone easy to bully.

In real life he is either a push-over or someone who has very poor social skills aka a hermit. Thank you psychology class for showing me how to easily judge someone by the way they behave online <3

[Host Lex]

Where did "someone thinks you're 'ethan' " come from?

[Shambo]

Sherea told me that when I questioned her after Bob said someone in the tribe hated me and bla bla, she said that "someone" aka Rory thinks I'm called Ethan and that's why they can't trust me. I could easily be like "Yo, I'm Alex! Not Ethan." but then it would ruin the character I'm creating and it might even force me to work with Sherea. I just don't want to like use my real life persona on this game, like if I can't get out of this pickle on my own without using my influences and reputation then I don't deserve to be around.

[Shambo]

Courtney Y (4:03:27): disgusting
Shambo (4:03:36): excuse you?
Courtney Y (4:03:47): you have no reason or excuse to called me weak
Shambo (4:04:13): you were the weakest at the last challenge, you didn't check the board for a million years and that's why we were behind
Shambo (4:04:15): that's a fact
Courtney Y (4:04:20): no
Courtney Y (4:04:25): i checked the board
Courtney Y (4:04:34): sherea didn't post
Shambo (4:04:48): you did? that's funny, because you were not on the active users list when it was your turn to post
Courtney Y (4:05:28): uhm, I did the fucking challenge and every fucking body took 2-4 hours to post their turn
Courtney Y (4:06:07): so you telling me that I have to idly sit by the screen to wait my turn
Shambo (4:06:24): we all did the challenge, but you were the one we had to wait for the longest. And then during the second challenge you were sooooo unproductive, all you did was nag and argue and beg for people to listen to you
Courtney Y (4:06:40): you are fucking ridiculous like your silly gameply
Shambo (4:06:48): I didn't say that, I said you were the one we waited for the longest and you are the weakest.
Courtney Y (4:06:49): the second challenge we were asting time
Shambo (4:07:03): asting? I assume you mean wasting, right?
Courtney Y (4:07:23): instead of cutting off her line we made move
Courtney Y (4:07:30): which was counterproductive
Courtney Y (4:07:37): so yes I wanted people to listened
Shambo (4:07:43): listen*
Courtney Y (4:08:14): oh okay now
Shambo (4:08:46): Courtney, you were horrible at both challenges, if you can't see it, I can't help you there. You just need glasses.
Courtney Y (4:09:12): so you saying nagging shows that i am weak
Shambo (4:09:35): not nagging, being counter-productive
Courtney Y (4:09:36): and you telling me when I checked the boards and my turn wasn't up
Courtney Y (4:10:01): I had to idly sit by the computer
Courtney Y (4:10:14): and this shows I am a weak player
Courtney Y (4:10:55): when your idea made us lose the challenge
Shambo (4:11:17): dude, are you mentaly chalenged? Because you clearly are not reading what I'm saying
Courtney Y (4:11:17): which was "counter-productive"
Shambo (4:11:47): You argue with everyone and irritate people instead of doing your part in challenges, you were the weakest the last challenge. That is a fact.
Courtney Y (4:12:02): NO I ARGUED WITH PHILIP
Shambo (4:12:08): I'm not the only one who said so.
Courtney Y (4:12:14): and JIMMY
Shambo (4:12:15): Philip, Jimmy, now me.
Shambo (4:12:23): Your track record is fantastic, isn't it?
Courtney Y (4:12:27): you are targeting me
Courtney Y (4:12:42): so I should just sit here quietly
Courtney Y (4:13:06): and that track record looks perfectly fine with me
Shambo (4:14:17): I target you because you are the weakest link, obviously. Comming and nagging at me doesn't do you any good, at all.
Shambo (4:14:26): Nor does threatening me on the boards and trying to be all slick.
Courtney Y (4:14:37): I'm not being slick
Shambo (4:14:44): CLEARLY
Courtney Y (4:14:49): I am being honest with what I do
Courtney Y (4:15:12): I see a danger to this tribe, I clearly point it out
Courtney Y (4:15:36): Jimmy , Philip fighting with Ashley/Sherea and now you
Courtney Y (4:16:10): and your showings of distaste for the tribe on the boards is clearly going to help you in the long run
Shambo (4:16:30): what show of distaste?
Shambo (4:16:36): Are you fucking kidding me bro?
Courtney Y (4:16:42): keeping useless people over Cirie
Shambo (4:17:07): Yeah, I was refering to you, Jimmy and Ashley, obviously.
Courtney Y (4:17:37): mmhmm h when I am gone and if this tribe loses again
Courtney Y (4:17:52): who will you blame?
Shambo (4:17:56): no one
Shambo (4:17:57): obviously
Courtney Y (4:18:03): sure?
Shambo (4:18:04): I think the rest of the tribe is strong.
Courtney Y (4:18:39): I think you are just trying to throw me in front of a bus and it is failing completely
Shambo (4:19:10): um, dude I have no need to do that, you are doing it yourself
Shambo (4:19:20): I think you give me too much credit
Courtney Y (4:20:03): jut letting you know I will do whatever in my power to let everyone know you are an evil manipulative bastard that needs to go h
Shambo (4:20:33): I'm not scared, if I go it's because of something that has nothing to do with you, because you are a terrible player
Courtney Y (4:20:43): sure I am
Courtney Y (4:21:18): if you did not know that was sarcasm h
Shambo (4:21:23): well, if you were any good at the social game you will see how this random temper tantrums you have been throwing don't help your case, especially considering you are weak
Courtney Y (4:21:42): it is only in your mind that I am weak
Courtney Y (4:22:14): many others in my tribe and including Ashley disagrees with you h
Shambo (4:22:24): the fact you think that is laughable, I wasn't the one who brought up that you were the weakest
Shambo (4:22:45): you are so out of the loop that you don't even know why the vote was changed to Ashley last second
Courtney Y (4:22:59): then please tell me
Shambo (4:23:58): why would I do that? I don't like you.
Shambo (4:24:12): I don't have to expain you anything, if you are not on the loop, you are not on the loop
Courtney Y (4:25:11): I think I am in the loop because of your vicious lies
Courtney Y (4:25:33): apparently Ashley and I were a pair that had the idol h
Shambo (4:25:54): my lies? I haven't lied about anything
Shambo (4:26:04): once again, you don't know anything
Courtney Y (4:26:04): we weren't close
Courtney Y (4:26:25): you the first person that said that was a fear for you
Courtney Y (4:26:36): and the tribe alone
Shambo (4:26:36): that said what?
Courtney Y (4:26:54): Ashley and I were a "pair"
Shambo (4:26:59): can you speak english please? cause sometimes its hard to make out what you are trying to say [for real, not being a douche]
Shambo (4:27:07): that wasn't me...
Shambo (4:27:14): you REALLY are clueless
Courtney Y (4:28:08): again your perception
Shambo (4:28:22): nop, it's a fact
Shambo (4:28:28): because I didn't say that at al
Shambo (4:28:45): the one thing I said about you was that you were annoying and the weakest link, everything else has been said by others
Courtney Y (4:29:20): there are two sides to every fucking story in this game
Courtney Y (4:29:39): so you may think you are in the loop, as well
Shambo (4:30:01): there are no sides to what I have side you retard
Shambo (4:30:07): what I said and didn't say is a fact

She still hasn't responded, which means she got KO'd.
What a retard, are you seeing her arguments? Like come on, no one can be THAT bad at arguing. Way to ruin a great character, what a fucking waste of life.

[/color]

[Shambo]

EPISODE IV

[/b]
"Someone thinks you're 'Ethan'...!"[/font][/color]

[/center]

Gah! So my life on this game is going to be cut shorter, sure it is going to be my fault for the little charade I pulled on Bob, but honestly the fact Cuntney might outlast me is preposterous. Like that stupid little bitch is so out of the loop, well... she was until like someone last night told her the thing about the idol. I have no idea who it was because no one was online besides me, Brett and Ted from the other tribe. So, it is quite suspicious to me... that combined with the fact she knew that I hated the whole tribe "for a fact" was like wtf, but I won't go around accusing people I just know I haven't told anyone that I hate this people so it's like where did she get that crap from?

Everyone seems to think I'm up to something and it's like no, you idiot, is just that I don't like anyone here doesn't mean I'm up to something. Philip says I need to out-perform Courtney big time on the challenge so they have no arguments against voting me out, but honestly with Rory so gang-hoe against me because he thinks I'm this Ethan person.

Obviously this people are all up for the Black Power deal and honestly, I don't blame them because was I a black character I would have done the same, and honestly I would be safe, just because of the color of my skin on the game. I actually find that amusing, like it's such a great story-arc and like theme for the season, but it sucks to be on the opposite side of the spectrum.

Also, the fact this people are SO FUCKING DENSE. Like come on, give me a break. You can be a bore but do you also have to be dense? I can't wait for a swap so they start sucking up and I can toss them away like a used condom. I can't wait.