Straighten up little soldier!

[Shambo]

PRE-SHOW

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"Meet Shambo"[/font][/color]

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Hello everyone who might be watching, my name is Shannon Waters, also known as Shambo because I am tough as fuck just like Rambo is and no one can kill me. I am former marine and I am absolutely not a lesbian, I also don't have testicles, but I have more balls than any of the sissy's you casted and I am going to show it. This show was basically made for me, I am real, I am fierce and I am a Survivor. I can speak five languages including chicken dialect and I know how to fish, float Yogi style and laugh during tense situations. Also, God visits me sometimes in my dreams to give my psychic visions which will absolutely come to my aid through-out this game.

I believe America will be rooting for me because I am a real person, I am not an actor or a model who got hired into the show but instead I actually applied and got casted. People would be able to relate to me because of my raw emotions and because I would be a far more kick-ass version of them.

Oh, hello everyone. This is Alex, the person behind Shambo. Just here to introduce myself. Let's see, I'm a gemini, which should tell you a lot about my personality, I am also twenty-two and if I had to be part of one social cliché, I'd be the party-boy. Or the douchebag pretty boy who is more looks than brains. Either works.

Anyways I am here this season to attempt to bring entertainment to the table, even though with the cast it seems like entertainment is going to be the least of the necessities because they all seem very character-like.

Allow me to explain you the character I have planned this season, and the reason I will be a pre-juror most likely:
My whole idea is to pick someone from my tribe and have a completely random personal vendetta against them, turn everything they say into awful things and try to vote them out all the time. Just hate them for the fact of them being them but pretend like it's because they actually did something to me, I still don't know who this person is gonna be, because there are no tribes, but I will pick someone who seems annoying so I don't feel bad. Ha!

Another part of the character story-arc is going to be having some visits from God to my dreams, where he tells me exactly what to do. I will drive my fellow castaways crazy with this as well with my one-sided vendetta against the other person. Besides that I plan to be pretty obnoxious and pretend like I know it all, I will talk to chickens, lose our snorkle, give Russell handjobs and laugh when cunts lose immunity.

For now that is all I got, I just wanted to make you guys aware of what you may be looking at, for the few episode I would last, that is. But hopefuly those few episodes will be a blast!

[Shambo]

Ughhhh, I forgot that being Shambo means I'm socially inept which means I can't talk about alcohol, sex or any of the things I love and would have in common with this people. Hence why I haven't posted in public yet. This is ridic, I am by no means going to go far with this character. PLUS I thought of this amazing character I could have been instead and with all the black people in the game it would have worked perfectly for me to be able to have a "Sistah" alliance or the Hood-Rats. Damn fuck you Shambo!

Bitch better provide some lulz moments. Just give me my tribe already so I can start the character .

[Host Brett]

You could be Shambo AND a sistah. Just a thought!

[Shambo]

Shambo believes in white supremacy, other races are evil and devil's spawn.
ESPECIALLY mexicans, because they come and take away jobs from REAL Americans.
Evil.

[DISCLAIMER: I'm not racist, I'm a mexican that came to America legally so that's why I shall focus my racism against mexicans, 'cause it's clearly a joke since it's talking about me]

[mikayla]

So how's the psychotic bitch strategy work for you? I think my best is 4th out with that strategy LOL

[Shambo]

I've won with the psychotic bitch strategy, twice, but this a little different because I normally rely on good social game and this strategy kind of relies more on poor social game and being such a liability that people want to keep me around so they can beat me

[Shambo]

EPISODE I

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"Smoking some mowie wowie actually."[/font][/color]

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So much to actually tell, kind of. It's not like I have been completely focussed on the game because in all honesty I have been moving to my new room and I haven't had time to sit down and socialize, plus I was doing the whole being anti-social bullshit but now we have to go to Tribal Council and Jason tells me that my name was brought up by El Doucho, that Cirie told him. So when I come back from running errands I send a couple of PM's [to white people only, obviously] and non of them answer me. I sent one to El Doucho as well, and he read it but didn't answer so I know my name is like out there, which is like I deserve it but I am hoping I can totally avoid being the first one voted out.

As we arrived to the beach to start this adventure we were all told that we were all part of the same tribe. To me it was scary because even though I know I am a people's person, I wasn't sure how dedicated I would be to meeting each and every one of the other seventeen people who were playing.

Immediately after, or almost immediately after we had a challenge where we had to paddle. It was a challenge I could have ruled but I heard a chicken cry for help and I had to help her, because that's what marines do. In all seriousness though I loved the challenge idea and wish I had been able to participate because speed posting is my shit <3 At the end some black guy won the challenge, I congratulated him but I made sure I didn't touch him. Don't get me wrong, I'm completely Pro-Slaves but I like my space.

Okay, so I have been working for a little bit asking about the vote and everyone is saying Cirie, I don't know why they would vote her out when she is clearly active and she seems nice and to be funny around the boards but hey, maybe that would save me? I don't know. I still feel like I'm going to go home and get mad at myself for fucking myself in the ass by being anti-social and being busy and stuff. But at this point all I can do is campaign and hope that people are being honest to me and choose to keep me so that I can start my one-sided hatred and all the fun stuff next round when we get divided into tribes.

[Rfango Bailey]

Jenna

[Shambo]

Eh? Who's thiiiis?

[Shambo]

EPISODE II

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"Congrats on making both tribes Rob!"[/font][/color]

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Tribes were finally divided and I honestly feel like killing myself, all the people that I worked hard on forming bonds with all day today are on the other tribe, no joke. ALL of them: Danielle, Jason, Sally, Ted. And all the people who I talked to and did not like are over here: Rory, Philip, Bob Dawg. Ha, all of them are black, I just noticed that. And then we have the two little stuck up bitches Courtney and Ashley, who is a cunt, simply because she is being a total bitch about Jimmy calling COURTNEY a cunt, somehow the bitch thinks she is so important and that she is the one being called a cunt. As if.

I hate my tribe and it makes me want to go crawl into a hole and die, if that wasn't bad enough Bob Douche has an idol clue. Maybe I should get close to him and see if he shares it. He is just so hard to talk to, both him and Philip were like pulling teeth.

I have awful luck on this game, all the people I like and got to know are on the other tribe and now I'm stuck with a bunch of wannabes. FML. Also, who am I suposed to have a one-sided vendetta against? Right now I'm thinking Ashley because she is clearly full of herself and Courtney seems more likeable and there are no more chicks. So...

Oh also, my ass was chosen last so go figure my position on the totem pole.

The tribes were divided by the top two placers of the challenge. I was happy because that means warriors are the ones choosing tribes, no weak-links. I was surprised when Bob chose me before Edgardo, then I remembered he was illegal so I probably didn't want to be on his tribe either way.

I ended stuck in a tribe with seven other people as opposed to eight. I intend to impress my tribe-mates with my survival skills, my fishing experience and my ability to talk to chickens and have visions from God.

When we got to camp I started meeting everyone and immediately someone stood out: Ashley. The former pageant [sp?] queen was horrible to me, she has been giving me dirty looks and I heard her say that I am less of a woman than her. I don't know what her problem is but in all honesty she reminds me of Lucifer, one time God came to me on a dream and showed me the face of the Devil and I swear it looked like her. So I have my eyes and ears open.

I will not allow a Beast to be around the rest, as a marine it is my duty to protect the civilians against awful things such as her.

Also, remember how I said I wanted to be anti-social? Well, turns out I suck at being anti-social, I'm far too outgoing to just sit back and do nothing. It's ridiculous, I'm not even good at sucking. Well... *cough*

Being on the tribe of eight also sucks, like I guess it's less people to meet, but it also doesn't give someone with my strategy enough place to hide, everything I do is gonna be on the spot-light and we know that won't work for this whole ordeal...

I guess the game plan now is become Bob Dawg's BFF and bond with the tribe, see if I can get them to hate Ashley just because of my one-sided vendetta and try to survive for a while. This game I just have the worst luck ever, seriously.

[Host Brett]

[Shambo]

The fact the Prediction Writers > my tribe is absolutely mind-blowing.
The fact I spend so much time complaining about my tribe instead not talk to them, is also pretty mind-blowing.

Wanna know what's more mind-blowing tho?
The fact Episode 1's episode title sucked dick.
So, I shall make it my duty to have an episode title before my eventual demise.

[Shambo]

EPISODE II

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"Congrats on making both tribes Rob!"[/font][/color]

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I am so fucking frustrated, like honestly this is so stupid. My tribe is horrible, they are all so incredibly stupid. Like first of all I have tried connecting with them and talking to them, like Philip and I got along and I liked him until he just fucked up the challeng. So fucking retarded! Courtney can barely talk english and is just super stupid and wants attention, the fact someone makes me hate Courtney Yates is just so unbearable. Then Bob Dawg shows tons of personality around the boards but on AIM he has the personality of a rock. Rory is annoying and stupid. Princess, she is trying too hard to be cool, plus I hate her because she is my one-sided enemy. Sherea is MIA and Jimmy doesn't respond to my messages. RETARDS!!!!!

They are soooo annoying. You should have seen them during the challenge, like I know this game, in Mx we call it Timbiriche and I'm boss at it, and then they come here and don't start the challenge yet don't listen to my suggestions and want to do their business. So I slap some sense into their retarded asses and they do what I want, but every so often they have suggestions on what to do and it's like "bro, you have no idea what you are saying, shut up and do what I'm saying."

Somehow, I am having a hard time getting along with my tribe-mates, we have nothing in common. We have Princess & Servant [Ashley & Courtney] both of who are extremely annoying and have nothing to offer mentally to the tribe. Philip is obsessed with smoking something he calls "mowie wowie". And everyone else is still petty deranged, I don't understand how they can live like this, like non of them seem to have any game whatsoever.

I have been hunting for the tribe, fishing and doing all this work but no one seems to either care about anything. Especially Ashley, she is awful, I am sure she called me a whore the other day when I brought fish from the tribe. I can't believe she would do such a thing, I HATE HER.

I'm doing everything for this challenge, I am the one who comes with the strategy, then I make the images, give it to them and all they have to do is post and yet they can't even do that in time. Like what, the fuck dude!!! I'm so frustrated. I hate this tribe and now I actually have a reason. I hate Bob Dawg for picking me and picking them. I'm just so mad, if I had a gun I will shoot all of them and then myself so I don't get arrested for shooting people who are mentally handicapped.

The funny thing is they think they are funny and characters and honestly they are just absolutely horrid. The fact SHAMBO is the smartest, most social player in the game even though I'm playing to suck should explain how much they suck..

[Rfango Bailey]

I hope you enjoy this game alot more

[Shambo]

I sure hope so!
Also, look what this bitch found:

That was SUPER easy, now to figure it out...